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Hey everyone! So, I finished this anime a while ago called “Dance In The Vampire Bund.” Actually, I think it should be more properly titled “Elementary School Children Porn…With Fangs.” So anyways, here’s my review….

OK, So “Vampire Bund” is about Mina Tepes who is the princess of the vampires. She’s sick of being in hiding, so she basically bribes the Japanese government to let her have her own “bund.” What the hell is a Bund anyhow? Apparently it’s just a piece of land. Now that vampires aren’t just myth anymore, she has a lot of people trying to kill her and take over the vampires. But luckily, she’s got her own uber faithful werewolf named Akira. Akira’s had a bit of a memory loss and doesn’t remember he’s a werewolf, so part of the story is him figuring out his past.

If naked 9 year olds turn you on, seek professional help.

OK, so where do I start? This first episode is pretty awesome…for about 10 minutes. It starts out with the filming of one of those crappy Japanese variety shows (and yes, they are really that crappy in real life). So it basically begins with this HILARIOUS caricature of Japanese celebrities. But then, unfortunately, it goes down hill from there. It gets all serious…and porn-ish…and creepy. And not creepy in a good way! I think this show could have been really, really good had it stayed away from the naked children aspect. Now, even though Mina is a vampire and therefore “old,” she’s in the body of a 9 year old. And boy do they like showing her with no clothes on! Now, I have no problem with animes where older girls have the giant boobs and so on, but a VERY young looking girl with no clothes on? Creepy. The opening credits show her dancing around in basically nothing and it’s really just gross.

More bads:

1) Hot nuns? Really? We’ve NEVER seen hot nuns before.

2) Apparently evil vampires don’t wear pants. They just wear this unitard thong contraption that’s gotta hurt.

3) Vampires are clumsy in the “Bund” world. If you’re going to make me choose, I pick sparkly vampires over clutzy ones.

4) The vampires occasionally change forms…into a chameleon…a tiger…a baboon. LAME.

I know vampires are popular or whatever right now (I can neither confirm nor deny the rumours that I have read the Twilight saga 4 times and that I’m Team Jacob) but this show just felt a little out of date. I really, REALLY wanted this to be a good show and it just kept getting worst and worst for me. Funimation is currently streaming this show, but be warned that it has been edited. And honestly, I haven’t seen the Funimation edit, but it might do it a lot of good to get rid of the child porn. At this point, it’s a 12 episode anime, but I predict that we’ll be seeing a season 2. And if you do nothing else, watch it all for the most awesome Tiger vs. Werewolf fight at the end that will remind you of a 1985 Thundercats montage. It’s awesome. And by awesome, I mean shit.

Final opinion: Watch the “Twilight” movies instead.  You’ll hate yourself just as much, but spend a lot less time doing it.

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12 Responses to ““Dance In The Vampire Bund” ~Bailey’s Review”

  1. TheNewGuy

    02. May, 2010

    I’ve been wondering why there is this obsession in anime with school girls, even elementary school girls. Is this some kind of common fetish in Japan, ’cause in North America we just call it pedophilia?

  2. LuccaQ

    02. May, 2010

    Ewww…sounds pedophiley. I feel like I’m doing something wrong just reading this. Surely won’t be watching that one. On a lighter note, I just started watching ‘Tokyo Magnitude 8.0′ and I really like it! It’s not something I would have normally picked up on my own. Thanks for the reviews.

  3. Cauliflower

    02. May, 2010

    The real killer for me was the total absence of plot or (real) characters. Combine it with an animation style that tries -way- too hard to rip off Bakemonogatari, and you’re in for a world of hurt.

    The child-porn thing was probably the funniest part of this show, in how it made me laugh a single time.

  4. Seakitty

    02. May, 2010

    Sounds interesting! I’ve been needing more loli in my diet anyway. I’m considering picking this up.
    I’ll hold off until I can see the dub, FUNi better release this uncut.

  5. Bailey

    03. May, 2010

    NewGuy: Just like in other countries, unfortunately, there are some men who find young, young girls attractive. But of course, it is not socially acceptable here in Japan either. But anime has always been able to get away with things that live action shows and movies can’t…so there you go.

    Lucca: Glad you’re liking Tokyo Magnitude! When you’re finished, let me know what you thought.

  6. yunfanz

    04. May, 2010

    i was reading the manga for this and i found the story fascinating i stopped reading it because it was kinda long and im reading a lot of other series but so far i loved the story for it i might get back into it later on im not sure how they made the anime though but i loved the opening theme for it friends by Aiko Nakano

  7. John tiger

    06. May, 2010

    OK i have seen the shows and read the manga of the Dance of the Vampire Bund. Yes the main female looks 9. But in years of the vampires she is way older than any of us. The show has really good fight sences even better ones when you get farther along in the anime.

    Also the Twilight movies, shows and books all freaking suck. It is a pile of bull from begining to end.

  8. Tantei

    08. May, 2010

    I HATE lolicon however I like the funimation EDITED version of this series. yes there a lot of generic things. however I enjoyed the relationship between arkia and mina was never sexual. (the edited release proves this). all did you not see she is wearing a leotard in the opening (plus it does not show anything).the series is not perfect but it is not nearly as bad as you make it out be. also twilight and bund…. the only similarity they share really is a male and female protagonist who do love each other, one of them is a vampire, and there are werewolfs in both, and finally the werewolf falls in love with a young kid (at least mina is 1000 years old and is in elementary school unlike nessey (I am a team jacob fan as well) also I liked the final episode and the final battle. I found the politics of the vampire kingdom to be very interesting. the world is well constructed, and thoroughly thought out. finally I thought the show was well drawn. the edited release of this makes this show a epic story, versus a strike witches

    P.S. you should really watch the official release and support the industry like everyone else tries to. if you hate the lolicon aspect like I do (in fact that is all your article is about) then you really really watch the edited version that gets rid of all the lolicon. plus you support the industry (even if bang zoom is not working on it you should still support it and set an example for all the other people).

  9. Bailey

    09. May, 2010

    Tantei, thanks for the long reviews! I do support the industry. I live in Japan, so I am able to watch these shows when they are on television here and I also rent the DVDs from Tsutaya here in Japan. Sometimes I do have a hard time understand what the show is about because my Japanese isn’t perfect. In that case, I will watch some of the anime online to make sure I’m understanding the story. But for the most part, I stick to official releases in Japan.

  10. Tantei

    11. May, 2010

    ok I did not know that, I assumed you lived in america or europe my bad. in that case you could not even watch the funimation version. I look forward to your review of index as I said on the railgun board.

  11. Jamr

    16. May, 2010

    I watched this anime and I happen to like it. I also like the twilight series but then again I am a vampire fan in total. This is how I feel about anime in a whole the reason why people like or dislike it is because they see themselves in that situation can relate on some level to that show. Take Naruto everyone loves that and honestly that is just lame in my opinion because it’s way to long and way to copy cat of everything else. Give Vampire Bund a chance and try to imagine yourself in her shoes. That’s my opinion

  12. LG

    09. Feb, 2011

    I wish this show had been bad enough that I could have just quit right after I got started…but I got interested in it just enough that I wanted to know how all the vampire politics would turn out and what was up with the memories Akira hadn’t gotten back.

    The show tried to make the whole “child vampire” thing seem slightly smarter than just fanservice for pedophiles, but all of that came just a bit late for me. Plus, there were way too many scenes that had absolutely no justification for Mina’s nudity other than icky fanservice – even if they were just going for shock value, that could have been accomplished with one scene in the first episode and then nothing more.

    I’m SO glad FUNimation edited the show – although, if they hadn’t, I probably would have stopped watching after the first episode and thereby managed to save myself from watching the entirety of what turned out to be a mediocre series.

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