Hey everyone! So, I finished this anime a while ago called “Dance In The Vampire Bund.” Actually, I think it should be more properly titled “Elementary School Children Porn…With Fangs.” So anyways, here’s my review….
OK, So “Vampire Bund” is about Mina Tepes who is the princess of the vampires. She’s sick of being in hiding, so she basically bribes the Japanese government to let her have her own “bund.” What the hell is a Bund anyhow? Apparently it’s just a piece of land. Now that vampires aren’t just myth anymore, she has a lot of people trying to kill her and take over the vampires. But luckily, she’s got her own uber faithful werewolf named Akira. Akira’s had a bit of a memory loss and doesn’t remember he’s a werewolf, so part of the story is him figuring out his past.
OK, so where do I start? This first episode is pretty awesome…for about 10 minutes. It starts out with the filming of one of those crappy Japanese variety shows (and yes, they are really that crappy in real life). So it basically begins with this HILARIOUS caricature of Japanese celebrities. But then, unfortunately, it goes down hill from there. It gets all serious…and porn-ish…and creepy. And not creepy in a good way! I think this show could have been really, really good had it stayed away from the naked children aspect. Now, even though Mina is a vampire and therefore “old,” she’s in the body of a 9 year old. And boy do they like showing her with no clothes on! Now, I have no problem with animes where older girls have the giant boobs and so on, but a VERY young looking girl with no clothes on? Creepy. The opening credits show her dancing around in basically nothing and it’s really just gross.
1) Hot nuns? Really? We’ve NEVER seen hot nuns before.
2) Apparently evil vampires don’t wear pants. They just wear this unitard thong contraption that’s gotta hurt.
3) Vampires are clumsy in the “Bund” world. If you’re going to make me choose, I pick sparkly vampires over clutzy ones.
4) The vampires occasionally change forms…into a chameleon…a tiger…a baboon. LAME.
I know vampires are popular or whatever right now (I can neither confirm nor deny the rumours that I have read the Twilight saga 4 times and that I’m Team Jacob) but this show just felt a little out of date. I really, REALLY wanted this to be a good show and it just kept getting worst and worst for me. Funimation is currently streaming this show, but be warned that it has been edited. And honestly, I haven’t seen the Funimation edit, but it might do it a lot of good to get rid of the child porn. At this point, it’s a 12 episode anime, but I predict that we’ll be seeing a season 2. And if you do nothing else, watch it all for the most awesome Tiger vs. Werewolf fight at the end that will remind you of a 1985 Thundercats montage. It’s awesome. And by awesome, I mean shit.
Final opinion: Watch the “Twilight” movies instead. You’ll hate yourself just as much, but spend a lot less time doing it.